Meeting wrap up from Deb on Covenant of Water by Verghese:

Agreeing with what’s been praised: such hospitality—comfortable setting from the beautifully evolving porch on through & tasty spread: thank you, Kim—& others for additions, everyone for making last night into a special evening centered on a splendid book (my modifier, not the group’s!).  Though we DID all confirm what a really BEST-ever book-group we are, & that heart-felt consensus feels great.  Differing on elements of THE COVENANT is part of what I value, too: varied perceptions, with solid sources.  Maybe it did go on too long with 2 or 3 too many substories, or could have been trimmed.  Though for me, I don’t want to lose any strands or little forecasters: am wowed by all the perspectives brought to this multi-faceted epic—which seemed even more impressive as each of you contributed from your own areas of expertise (as you were noting, Jessica), & awareness, adding more from studies, travel, priorities, + varied takes on weight, direction & credibility.  I appreciate all that input, feel we could meet again on this one!

Also, a couple points (of dozens possible despite our focused discussion) I want to note: late in the book, when under stress speaking to Mariamma  about Elsie’s leprosy (p. 712), Digby’s old Scottish accent slips into his speech.  At first the words hit me as typos but then the accent was acknowledged: another move that could be considered distracting, or an insightful enlargement!  I love it!  And the way that Mariamma realizes the gift she possesses of being able to look at a 2-D rendering & create it 3-D, at 1st seems minor but as is often the case w/Verghese, the detail grows in significance as the book progresses.  Plus the way she talks to the Stone Woman, acknowledging it’s not a “tumor of thought” as a component of The Condition that she needs to pursue  (as she pours over Philipose’ 200 journals!), or solving its mystery that she is after, but her mother!  (Then she realizes it’s her mother who has held the cup she has put coins into —the Beggar Woman at the corner!  That’s almost too much?) And how many characters lost their mothers?  Many tracks that might be mapped, intersections flagged. And so much that could be learned—like about Naxalites & changes in medicine, including bedside manner & treatment of patients, as noted–that we got a start on!.

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Sing Unburied Sing by Jesmyn Ward

Meeting followup by Deb:

As everyone has noted, a wonderful and well timed, lovely evening together, comfortable & tasty on all levels, Jessica: thank you!   Such a good feeling to have six of us comfortably gathered around a grand new table in such a welcoming colorful chirp-happy yard to take up Jesmyn Ward’s Sing, Unburied, Sing!

—so a few thoughts sifted from our conversation, agreeing that before we disperse next time each person might offer a blurt/blurb/bit to pin to our monthly book report? —additions, edits welcome now, including input from you absent adventurers, too.’ massively misguided painful decisions—w/parallels to prohibition noted—and the extraordinary strength of Cassidy Hutchinson, barely 23 when she was taking in the Oval Rm January-6 events,  we segued from her disclosures of the day to our book, SING. We noted its closing with the youngest child of the book’s three generations, wee Kayla, holding vision, voice, singing the Unburied home—an uplift in the bleak narrative of our country’s injustices, pretense of equality with the end of slavery . . . straying—delving!—into the ongoing strings . . . Relevant.

Noting the narrative weaves in time—past & present (assisted by the dead—Given & Richie), we explored the impact of the multiple voices, which sometimes seemed problematic + generated curiosity about how the story would read from an omniscient viewpoint—observing that probably Ward would be effective from that perspective, too. What we wouldn’t want to lose is the powerful attachment achieved by beginning with JoJo on his 13th b’day when Pop slaughters a goat to cook up for dinner—with JoJo’s help keenly detailed.  Within very few pages we love Jojo, sense his importance to the narrative, his family, little sis Kayla—Michaela (Michael & Leona’s 2nd child). We plunge into a tangle of relationships among characters we come to know through varied view-points, raising questions about the coherence of addicts (& how tough it is), & thoughts on artist-writers’ license & Ward’s command (+experience with car-sickness & vomit, mother of two!).

A reviewer notes parallels w/Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying, which led to talk about other echoes that Ward acknowledges, including the Odyssey—two tempting trouble-coated sirens bearing Michael home [road-trip reworked from prison now], this a book Ward researched seriously, covering history & places she had not known & now would etch for us—like Parchman Farm, the “work-camp” Pen. She achieves her goals, we seem to agree (although Salvage the Bones might be stronger yet + tougher to read? And Men We Reaped, her memoir offers another personal perspective on racism).  Also, Ward credits her editor as prompter to give voice to 12-yr-old Parchman prisoner Richie as one of the narrators: bring back the dead + bury the dead!  This is not unrelated to vomit, which we also discussed after dinner: throwing up the past, which doesn’t swallow-down digest easy.  [Also, worth adding is that the importance of Pop to Richie went the other way, too (p. 69): that Pop, like his great grandmama was “made a animal.  Until that boy came out on the line until I found myself thinking again.  Worrying about him. Looking out the corner of my eye at him lagging crooked like a ant that’s lost scent.”]  —a reminder that not only is Ward able to drive a strong narrative, but is poetic: P279: “Kayla patted his arm again, but she didn’t ask for another pecan.  Just rubbed him like Pop was a puppy, flea-itching and half-bald, starved for love.”   or 253 in a Jojo Chapter when Pop is providing the “end” to Richie’s story: “He is balanced on his toes, and he could be made of stone. But every part of Pop moves: his hands as he speaks, his shoulders folding forward as softly as a flower wilting at the hottest part of the day.  I’ve never seen them do that.  His face, all the lines of his face, sliding against each other like the fault lines of the great fractured earth.  What undergirds it: pain.  The sledgehammer fallen.” –another place that Ward enlarges beyond a speaker’s likely perceptions. Effectively.

We might have talked more about death—introduced by Jojo at the start, made concrete on p.235: “What happens when you pass away?” he asks. . . . It’s like walking through a door, Jojo, Mam answers. . . .  Death a great mouth set to swallow.  . . . [becoming a ghost] only happens when the dying’s bad. Violent . . . so awful even God can’t bear to watch. … [but not me] I’ll be [here] on the other side of the door.

Character development was generally praised—Pop offering a strong resilient model for Jojo to look-up to, and also embodying such wrenching experiences that it’s hard to fathom the pain of the challenges faced by him and others.  Then, after 282 pages we follow Richie up the tree, get to the birds/feathered leaves/women, men, boys & girls, black, brown, smoke-white baby, —ghosts approached by Kayla (w/a catalogue of atrocities they’ve experienced inserted, p.282); she sings them home.  [and Ward makes sure it registers “the way she takes all the pieces of everybody and holds them together is all her. Kayla” —our history carried with us, & a reminder how things CAN add up—even skipping generations!) The character of Mam & Leonie are comprehensive, too—one the ultimate care-taker, the other “ain’t got the mother instinct . . . She aint never going to feed you” as Leonie’s mother Mama says—and seems at the base of why to Jojo, Gram is Mam, Mama is Leonie, and Jojo nurtures Kayla. We talked a bit too about how Ward doesn’t pin specific causes down, showing how living in poverty as victims of racism takes its toll on many who don’t have the strength of Mam & Pop—like w/brother Stag. An impressive feat, and excellent read.

And CK finds a link back to the main characters of Ward’s earlier book, Salvage the Bones: Ch. 10 (Leonie) page 197: Skeetah & Esch are walking a black dog on a chain on a street in Bois!   What else?   Received 2017 National Book Award!

From MaryAnne: Characters live in watery environment and flooding is a constant threat. Water also shelters dangerous animals and powerful spirits.

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Fight Night

Thanks to Deb for an excellent recap:

What a special evening: dinner reunion, astounding book, sweet welcome bit of catching up among us + discussionà eager for us ALL to gather, + still delighting in the book & night—& going to indulge in waxing wordy since I’ve missed after-din responses & we didn’t get to Zoom everyone in!  What a book & evening together!  We all seemed fully impressed with the way Swiv tells the 3-gen- story from her 9-yr old perspective –framed as a letter. or letterS [tho we really didn’t talk about structure much, other than commending the tight knit of details] —mainly a letter to her Dad who has split, Mom—Mooshie—who is freaking out with her geriatric pregnancy & Grandma with one foot in the grave, Gord inside readying for his first appallingly nude [ultrasound] photos!  And where’s Dad? That, Gram says, is the $64,000 question, in her aptly articulated way.   Adventures abound, timing is perfect w/jump cuts prevailing & as noted, knit nicely, too: the two cobalt candle holders Momo gives Gram 2 wks before Momo dies reappearing 200 pages later when nephew Lou has a candle for Gramma to take home to put in those holders from his Auntie. It’s empathetically cast, deadly serious, and LOL funny in a genius way (sure seems Toews’ due a MacArthur!) w/narrator Swiv’s insights uncanny, the language she hears & repeats eerily alive in Toew’s innovative way of conveying dialogue. 

       And besides appreciating the LETTER set-up, the 2 parts are fitting, too—moving from HOME to AWAY w/Swiv & Gram traveling to the USA, to see nephews Lou, who is struggling (in pain?), & Ken, w/Swiv along as caretaker—+ driver of Ken’s convertible [meeting those cool teen guys—ever husband/lover potential!]after Grandma finds her way to the Old Folks Home to see her not-yet-dead friends & does a little dance for them w/a high kick lays her flat, leaves her w/a missing tooth & lisping + broken arm—& ailing heart, maybe ODing on the T-3s she miscounts. Swiv such a care-taker, and Ma-mooshie searching, Toews drawing on her own life w/impressive timing, wisdom, humor, & empathy [!], Gram’s responses to the Lobby caretaker & hospital worker who must bill her for her sling truly respecting the needs of the vulnerable (not lesser but with more at risk)—an amazing feat, + letting the Rat guy who defends rats as just trying to survive also offers his wisdom: divorce breaks you down & you have to reinvent yourself (which Toews also seems to know)—all building to Gram’s “negotiated surrender” already forecast as being timed with Gord’s birth way back at the start [!] . . .   [stop, deb.]

SO, this book’s genius achievement really gets complicated / extended w/Toew’s unusual (to say the least) “Personal History” essay “THE WAY SHE CLOSED THE DOOR, Facing the past on a frozen river in Winnipeg” in the NYer Feb 14 & 21 issue. Thanks to the reader/s who mentioned it [Laura, Margie ?!]. Talk about an incredible piece of writing—sentences that cover decades + cross continents & marriages, imagining a conversation that didn’t quite take off, back in Paris a decade + earlier, (waiting for a “boyfriend” who wants to be called a husband) a conversation over coffees to hold Toew’s History (not unlike the letter format of FIGHT NIGHT but even more wacky & enjambed).  Anyway, she leaves me marveling, as did dinner: Margie, your multi-faceted Persian feast especially unusual & tasty, setting completely conducive to relaxing & relishing being together unmasked, in person, + reflecting on this amazing book. Deep thanks to each of you for all you bring to our group (even when absent, a sense of you’s with us!).

love, deb — & not to forget Gram’s subversive advice [p20]:

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Cloud Cuckoo Land – Additional Reading

We loved this book! Laura, Deb, Catherine and Margie shared additional information.

The New Yorker reviewer was not quite as taken as we were. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/10/04/anthony-doerrs-optimism-engine

Literary Mood Board: The delightfully obscure items that inspired Anthony Doerr’s Cloud Cuckoo Land https://ew.com/books/cloud-cuckoo-land-anthony-doerr-literary-mood-board/

NPR Review:Anthony Doerr’s New Novel Spans Centuries, Yet Fits Together Like Clockwork https://www.npr.org/2021/09/28/1041004908/anthony-doerr-cloud-cuckoo-land-review

The New York Review of Books: The Other Rome (Incomplete article here. See Margie’s email for entire article.) https://www.nybooks.com/articles/2022/02/10/the-other-rome-peter-brown/

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A Humanoid Who Cares For Humans, From the Mind of Kazuo Ishiguro

By Radhika Jones

  • Published Feb. 23, 2021Updated March 1, 2021

KLARA AND THE SUN
By Kazuo Ishiguro

About halfway through “Klara and the Sun,” a woman meeting Klara for the first time blurts out the kind of quiet-part-out-loud line we rely on to get our bearings in a novel by Kazuo Ishiguro. “One never knows how to greet a guest like you,” she says. “After all, are you a guest at all? Or do I treat you like a vacuum cleaner?”

This is Ishiguro’s eighth novel, and Klara, who narrates it, is an Artificial Friend, a humanoid machine — short dark hair; kind eyes; distinguished by her powers of observation — who has come to act as companion for 14-year-old Josie. Like that childhood stalwart Corduroy, she’d been sitting in a store, hoping to be chosen by the right child. AFs aren’t tutors. They’re not babysitters (though they’re sometimes chaperones), nor servants (though they’re expected to take commands). They’re nominally friends, but not equals. “You said you’d never get an AF,” Josie’s friend Rick says, accusingly — which makes Klara the mark of some rite of passage they didn’t want to accede to. Her ostensible purpose is to help get Josie through the lonely and difficult years until college. They are lonely because in Josie’s world, most kids don’t go to school but study at home using “oblongs.” They are difficult because Josie suffers from an unspecified illness, about which her mother projects unspecified guilt.

“Klara and the Sun” takes place in the uncomfortably near future, and banal language is redeployed with sinister portent. Elite workers have been “substituted,” their labor now performed by A.I. Clothing and houses are described as “high-rank.” Privileged children are “lifted,” a process meant to optimize them for success. Readers of Ishiguro’s 2005 novel “Never Let Me Go” will viscerally recall the sense of foreboding all this awakens. If I am being cagey about it, it’s to preserve that effect. But for the inhabitants of the novel, the older generation of whom remember the way things were, these conditions have been normalized, to use the banal language of our own era. Here is Josie’s father, a former engineer: “Honestly? I think the substitutions were the best thing that happened to me. … I really believe they helped me to distinguish what’s important from what isn’t. And where I live now, there are many fine people who feel exactly the same way.” Through Klara, we pick up bits of overheard conversation: a mention of “fascistic leanings” here; a reference to Josie’s mysteriously departed sister there; the woman outside the playhouse who protests Klara’s presence: “First they take the jobs. Now they take the seats at the theater?”

For four decades now, Ishiguro has written eloquently about the balancing act of remembering without succumbing irrevocably to the past. Memory and the accounting of memory, its burdens and its reconciliation, have been his subjects. With “Klara and the Sun,” I began to see how he has mastered the adjacent theme of obsolescence. What is it like to inhabit a world whose mores and ideas have passed you by? What happens to the people who must be cast aside in order for others to move forward? The climax of “The Remains of the Day” (1989), Ishiguro’s perfect, Booker Prize-winning novel, pivots on a butler’s realization that his whole life has been wasted in service of a Nazi sympathizer. (“I gave my best to Lord Darlington. I gave him the very best I had to give and now — well — I find I do not have a great deal more left to give.”) A subplot in Ishiguro’s first novel, “A Pale View of Hills” (1982), involves an older teacher in postwar Nagasaki whose former student renounces his way of thinking. “I don’t doubt you were sincere and hard working,” the former student tells him. “I’ve never questioned that for one moment. But it just so happens that your energies were spent in a misguided direction, an evil direction.” In “Never Let Me Go,” clones “complete” after fulfilling their biological purpose. In “Klara and the Sun,” obsolescence reaches its mass conclusion: Whole classes of workers have been replaced by machines, which themselves are subject to replacement. It nearly happens to Klara. In the story’s first section, a new, improved model of AF arrives and bumps her to the back of the store.

“Klara and the Sun” lands in a pandemic world, in which vaccines hold the promise of salvation but the reality of thousands of deaths a day persists, and a substantial portion of the American population deludes itself into thinking it isn’t happening. Our own children have been learning on oblongs and in isolation. The crisis of this novel revolves around whether Josie, with Klara’s help, will recover from her illness — and whether, if Josie doesn’t recover, her mother, with Klara’s help, will survive the loss. It turns out that to “lift” her daughter, to ensure Josie will thrive amid her world’s “savage meritocracies” (I’m quoting from Ishiguro’s 2017 Nobel lecture, an enlightening document as to his state of mind), her mother has knowingly risked Josie’s health, her happiness, her very life — a calculation that sounds terrible on paper until one realizes how common it already is.

Considering the place of “Klara and the Sun” in Ishiguro’s collected works — which cohere astoundingly well, even “The Unconsoled” (1995), powered as it is by the dreamlike absorption and reconciliation of unfamiliar circumstances — I found myself thinking of Thomas Hardy, the way Hardy’s novels, at the end of the 19th century, captured the growing schism between the natural world and the industrialized one, the unclean break that technology makes with the past. Tess Durbeyfield earns her living as a dairymaid before agricultural mechanization, but she channels early strains of what Hardy presciently calls “the ache of modernism.” She represents a mode of being human in nature before machinery got in the way.

Klara is a man-made marvel. She lacks the fluidity of human mobility such that to negotiate a gravel driveway is a project of careful intention. But like the great outdoors, she runs on solar power, and she ventures deliberately into the natural world at critical points in the story, communing with the sun to try to help Josie with matters bigger than either one can comprehend. Klara’s perception, too, is at once mechanical and deeply subjective. Fields of vision appear in squares and panels, so that you can imagine (through her eyes) pictures processed and bitmapped, resolving themselves the way a high-definition image resolves on a screen, but with a shifting focus that seems tied to her interpretation of the events and environment around her. Seeing the world from Klara’s point of view is to be reminded constantly of what it looks like when mediated through technology. That might have felt foreign a century ago, but not anymore.

Klara is likable enough — as she was manufactured to be — but it’s hard to empathize with her on the page, which is maybe the point. The stilted affect that so often characterizes Ishiguro’s prose and dialogue — an incantatory flatness that belies its revelatory ability — serves its literal function. Klara’s machine-ness never recedes. Unlike most of Ishiguro’s first-person narrators, however, she seems incapable of deluding herself. Her technological essence presents some childlike limitations of expression, but are they more pronounced than the limits born of the human desire to repress, or wallow, or come across better than we are? “I believe I have many feelings,” Klara says. “The more I observe, the more feelings become available to me.” This statement had the peculiar effect, on me anyway, not of persuading me of her humanness but of causing me to consider whether humans acquire nameable feelings all that differently from her description. Which is maybe also the point.

In an interview with The Paris Review in 2008, Ishiguro said he thought of “Never Let Me Go” as his cheerful novel. Never mind that it centers on a trio of clones bred specifically to have their organs harvested. “I wanted to show three people who were essentially decent,” he said. Klara carries that quietly heroic mantle. Look at the characters Ishiguro gives voice to: not the human, but the clone; not the lord, but the servant. “Klara and the Sun” complements his brilliant vision, though it doesn’t reach the artistic heights of his past achievements. No moment here touches my heart the way Stevens does, reflecting on his losses in “The Remains of the Day.” Still, when Klara says, “I have my memories to go through and place in the right order,” it strikes the quintessential Ishiguro chord. So what if a machine says it? There’s no narrative instinct more essential, or more human.

Radhika Jones is the editor in chief of Vanity Fair and holds a doctorate in English and comparative literature from Columbia University.

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Cai is the subject of a “Medical Mysteries” column in the Washington Post

A novelist’s labored speech signaled an unimaginable diagnosis

Sandra G. Boodman
July 10, 2021

At first, novelist Cai Emmons thought something might be wrong with her bite.

In December 2019, while reading from her latest work at a gathering in Sausalito, Calif., Emmons was keenly aware that her voice and speech pattern seemed different than usual. “There was a slight lack of flow and my rhythm was off,” she recalled. No one else seemed to notice anything amiss.

But to Emmons, who lives in Eugene, Ore., the problem was glaring. A self-described “big talker” who had taught creative writing at the University of Oregon, Emmons often gave readings, was deeply involved in the local theater community and had been a college actress. She was determined to find out what was wrong with her voice and do her best to fix it.

And so began a roller-coaster process, complicated by the pandemic, that consumed the next 14 months of her life, concluding with a finding that was both familiar and unimaginable.

“I don’t think anyone wants to make the diagnosis,” Emmons said recently, adding that she regrets not knowing the truth sooner.

“Had I known earlier, I wouldn’t have had to go through all that testing and all those doctor visits,” she said. Equally important, a speedier diagnosis would have enabled her to “bank” her voice to create a synthetic one for future use.

Shifting teeth

In the weeks after the reading, Emmons, then 69, said she became “obsessed with her teeth.” They appeared to have shifted — typical in adulthood — and Emmons worried she had developed a bit of a lisp. She also noticed that the episodic hoarseness she had experienced for a few years seemed to be worsening. She visited her dentist, who found nothing wrong with her bite.

On the advice of a friend, Emmons decided to order invisible aligners, an alternative to traditional metal braces.

“It was pretty expensive but I really wanted to fix this problem,” she said.

She soon discovered that they made her speech sound garbled. After wearing them for several weeks, Emmons stuck them in a drawer.

In May 2020, she had a telehealth appointment with her primary care doctor. He referred her to an ear, nose and throat specialist whom she couldn’t see until July.

In the interim, a friend suggested she call one of his relatives in Ohio who is a physician. The doctor listened to Emmons’s description of her symptoms and told her he suspected she had myasthenia gravis, a rare neuromuscular condition that causes muscle weakness. Speech problems can be a symptom of the disease.

“I kind of bought into his diagnosis,” she said.

The Ohio doctor recommended that she start taking pyridostigmine, a drug used to reduce myasthenia-related muscle weakness.

But it wasn’t clear she actually had the disease: A blood test commonly used to diagnose it was normal.

In July an otolaryngologist examined Emmons’s vocal cords. After he found nothing unusual, he sent her to a Eugene-area neurologist.

A month later, Emmons saw the neurologist, who prescribed a trial of pyridostigmine and ordered additional tests. Among them was electromyography, which involves the insertion of small needles into muscles, including those in Emmons’s tongue, to measure electrical activity and the response to nerve stimulation. The doctor wrote that she wanted to distinguish between myasthenia and “another process causing . . . symptoms, like for example motor neuron disorders.” The best-known of these is amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), a rare, progressive neurological disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord that control movement.

“She definitely said I did not have ALS,” Emmons recalled.

She felt a surge of relief tempered with skepticism. Her former mother-in-law had died of ALS in 1988, and Emmons knew there is no definitive test for the fatal disease.

“When my mother-in-law died, I thought, ‘Well, I don’t have to worry about ALS because, like lightning, it won’t strike twice,’ ” Emmons remembered.

Disordered speech
After essentially ruling out ALS and myasthenia gravis the neurologist, who noted that Emmons was having trouble swallowing, ordered a CT scan of her neck, as well as an MRI of her brain and cervical spine to check for a stroke, tumor or a lesion suggestive of multiple sclerosis. When all were normal, she sent Emmons to a specialized otolaryngologist in Portland, 90 miles north of Eugene.

By then, Emmons said, her focus had shifted to a new possibility: laryngeal or spasmodic dysphonia, a voice disorder caused by involuntary spasms in the larynx that produce a strained or strangled-sounding voice. Emmons’s college roommate, a gynecologist, told her she “sounded just like several of her patients and kept sending me links to it,” the novelist recalled.

But after listening to broadcaster Diane Rehm, who has talked about her nearly career- ending battle with the disorder, Emmons said she became convinced this wasn’t her problem. She was having increasing difficulty forming words, which is not characteristic of spasmodic dysphonia.

Her deteriorating voice made Emmons feel uncharacteristically self-conscious. She shied away from readings, public speaking or interviews, fearing that her labored, stilted-sounding speech might make listeners question her intelligence.

In January 2021, Emmons, accompanied by her partner of 20 years, playwright Paul Calandrino, saw a laryngeal specialist at Oregon Health & Science University, the state’s only academic medical center.

He immediately ruled out spasmodic dysphonia and asked Emmons whether she had experienced inappropriate laughing or crying jags.

“I hadn’t ID’d this as something strange until he asked me,” Emmons recalled. “I asked him, ‘Why do you ask?’ and he replied that he thought I might have a pseudobulbar palsy.”

Pseudobulbar disorders affect the ability to control facial muscles and have a variety of causes, including stroke. The ENT did not elaborate and told Emmons he was sending her to a colleague who is a neurologist.

“I think he knew what was wrong, but didn’t feel that he was in a position to diagnose it,” she said. “And he knew I didn’t know. He was very attentive and made sure I had good follow-up appointments.”

‘It broke my heart’
About 10 days before the meeting with the Portland neurologist, Emmons kept an appointment she had made earlier with a second neurologist in Eugene. The doctor ordered testing so extensive it required 15 vials of blood. Several days later, Emmons learned that nothing had been found; the doctor could not explain her worsening symptoms.

That changed when Emmons saw Nizar Chahin and the young doctor working with him.

The junior doctor examined Emmons first. Chahin then joined them, repeating parts of the physical exam. He asked Emmons if he could inspect the tops of her legs, then stared intently at her thighs for what seemed like five minutes. What, she asked, was he looking for?

Fasciculations, he responded, referring to the myriad brief involuntary muscle twitches he had observed. Then Chahin gently asked Emmons whether she had heard of bulbar-onset ALS. She burst into tears. “It broke my heart,” Chahin recalled.

Most cases of ALS are classified as “limb onset” because they initially affect the extremities, often the legs. But about 30 percent are “bulbar-onset” because they first manifest in the head, specifically in muscles that control speech and swallowing. Fasciculations, or persistent muscle twitches when accompanied by muscle weakness, are a common sign of all forms of ALS, but occur later in bulbar-onset disease. (They should not be confused with benign fasciculations like an eye twitch, a nearly universal, harmless phenomenon.)

Bulbar onset is regarded as a more aggressive form of ALS, which strikes about 5,000 Americans annually. In most cases, the disease seems to occur randomly; a genetic form is believed to account for about 15 percent of cases.

Although bulbar-onset ALS is more difficult to diagnose than limb-onset disease, Chahin said he is puzzled that neurologists missed it. Difficulty forming words and swallowing are classic symptoms.

Emmons was also experiencing widespread fasciculations along with muscle atrophy, foot drop and abnormal reflexes, in addition to inappropriate involuntary displays of emotion known as “pseudobulbar affect.” All can be signs of ALS.

A second EMG performed at OHSU a few weeks later was abnormal and confirmed the diagnosis. Chahin, who directs the university’s ALS clinic and has seen more than 700 people with the disease, speculated that the first EMG and swallowing study may have been misread.

“These studies are very subjective,” he said.

Emmons said that even though Chahin and his fellow delivered shockingly bad news to her and Calandrino, both doctors were “really wonderful . . . they made us feel very cared for.”

The couple travel to Portland every three months to attend OHSU’s multidisciplinary ALS clinic. Chahin said that one of his patients with bulbar-onset ALS has lived for six years. Emmons’s breathing, he said, is “very, very good — so that’s a good sign.” Emmons has begun taking medications to treat the disease.

Ten days after the diagnosis, on Valentine’s Day 2021, the couple married.

They are trying to derive pleasure and comfort from time spent with friends and family and their shared experiences. Both laugh at the memory of their shellshocked drive home after receiving the diagnosis.

They stopped at a high-end mall along the route and tried to distract themselves by buying a candle and a sweater. As the clerk was wrapping the items, she innocently inquired, “So how’s your day going?”

Emmons recently bought an assistive communication device that can translate eye movements into speech. Her voice has continued to falter and she says “it takes me forever to eat now” because of deterioration in the muscles that control swallowing.

Her next novel is scheduled for publication in September. Several friends have agreed to appear in her stead at readings. And her sister’s voice will be her synthetic voice when speech becomes too difficult.

One of the hardest things, Emmons maintained, is “dealing with other peoples’ assumptions” — namely that her impaired voice equals an impaired brain.

During a recent coronavirus test before a medical procedure Emmons said the nurse “spoke at top volume like I was in kindergarten.”

She said she hopes her experience will alert others to the lesser-known form of ALS, enabling them to seek effective treatment earlier that might slow progression of the disease.

“There were many steps along the way where something was proclaimed to be normal, but turned out not to be, ” she said.

Keep up with Cai’s latest essays on Medium https://caiemmons.medium.com/

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New Yorker Article about Miriam Toews, Author of Women Talking

A Beloved Canadian Novelist Reckons with Her Mennonite Past

How Miriam Toews left the church and freed her voice. (Entire article here🙂

Before Miriam Toews can sit down to write, she needs to walk. Something about the body in motion limbers up the mind and suggests that it should get moving, too. When she is working on a book, she exists in a state of heightened suggestibility, as if everything she sees and hears were hers for the taking. In her twenties, when she went to journalism school to learn how to make radio documentaries, she loved spending hours with audiotape, a razor blade, and chalk, seamlessly stitching together the voices she had gathered, trying to keep her own voice out of the mix. But she found that she wished she could embellish, add thunder and lightning where there had been only a gentle rain, and that is why she writes fiction.

A few years ago, Toews was walking around Toronto, where she lives, turning the idea for a novel over in her mind. She had been thinking about it on and off since 2009, when she read about a series of crimes that had taken place in a remote Mennonite community in Bolivia known as Manitoba Colony. Mennonites belong to an Anabaptist movement that took shape in the Netherlands during the Protestant Reformation. Today, they number about two million worldwide. Though most now live modern lives, they, like the Amish, have traditionally kept themselves at a strict remove from the sinful world, and some still do. Members of Manitoba Colony aren’t on the electrical grid. They make their living from farming, but they put steel rather than rubber on the wheels of their tractors, since rubber tires, which move faster, are forbidden. Their first language is Plautdietsch, or Low German, an archaic unwritten dialect that dates back to sixteenth-century Polish Prussia, where many of their ancestors settled after persecution drove them from home. After Prussia, they went to Russia, then to Canada, and then to Mexico and points south, not intermarrying with the local population, leaving each place when its laws or customs impinged on their commitment to separation. Read more…

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2020 Book Recommendations from various sources

Barack Obama

  • Jack by Marilynne Robinson
  • Caste by Isabel Wilkerson (nonfiction)
  • The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson
  • Luster by Raven Leilani
  • How Much of These Hills is Gold by C Pam Zhang
  • Long Bright River by Liz Moore
  • Memorial Drive by Natasha Trethewey
  • Twilight of Democracy by Anne Applebaum non fiction NYT review here
  • Deacon King Kong by James McBride
  • The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio (nonfiction)
  • The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett
  • The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel
  • Hidden Valley Road – Inside the Mind of an American Family by Robert Kolker (nonfiction)
  • The Ministry for the Future by Kim Stanley Robinson Read Bill McKibben’s review here
  • Sharks in the Time of Saviors by Kawai Strong Washburn
  • Missionaries by Phil Klay

Ann Patchett, Louise Erdrich

  • The Resisters by Gish Jen
  • Black Bottom Saints by Alice Randall
  • Transcendent Kingdon by Yaa Gyasi
  • Postcolonial Love Poem by Natalie Diaz
  • Vesper Flights by Helen Macdonald
  • Memorial by Brian Washington
  • The All of It by Jeannette Haien (apparently an all time favorite of AP)
  • Begin Again by James Baldwin
  • Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio

Random Sources

  • Our Revolution by Honor Moore (nonfiction)
  • With or Without You by Caroline Leavitt
  • The Cold Millions by Jess Walter
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Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk: Prologue

Ben Fountain
Soldiers on the Fault Line: War, Rhetoric, and Reality

The Seventh Annual David L. Jannetta Distinguished Lecture in War, Literature & the Arts  September 10, 2013 / U.S. Air Force Academy

The reason I’m here is because I wrote a novel called Billy Lynn’s Long
Halftime Walk that was published last year. It’s a war novel, and specifically,
it’s about our wars of the past twelve years in Iraq and Afghanistan, but I
suppose it’s kind of a strange war novel in that it takes place entirely at a Dallas
Cowboys football game on Thanksgiving Day, at the old Texas Stadium, where
the Cowboys used to play before Jerry Jones moved them down the road to his new
stadium.
Some of you have been forced to read Billy Lynn for class, and for that I apologize,
but for those of you who haven’t, just to give you a rough idea, it’s about football,
cheerleaders, sex, death, war, capitalism, the transmigration of souls, brothers and
sisters, parents and children, the movie industry, Destiny’s Child, and the general
insanity of American life in the early years of the 21st century. The impulse for
this book started building in me around 2003, 2004, when I began to realize that
I didn’t understand my country-this place where I was born and grew up and had
spent my whole life, I didn’t have a clue as to why it was the way it was. Mainly this
sense coalesced around the war in Iraq. By 2004, it was apparent that we’d begun this war under false pretenses, on the basis of Weapons of Mass Destruction that
didn’t exist, and that the best intelligence had shown all along didn’t exist. We
invaded a country about which we knew virtually nothing, with no coherent plan
for occupation, or for implementing our stated goal of establishing democracy, or
for our eventual withdrawal.

By the time I’m talking about, 2004, dozens and sometimes scores of American
soldiers were losing their lives every month, fighting this war. The best evidence
indicated that upwards of 100,000 Iraqi civilians had been killed in the course of the invasion and subsequent insurgency. Our country was running up a mind-
boggling debt that’s going to be with us for generations. We were also in the midstof producing a cohort of some 40,000 wounded veterans, whose injuries, both
physical and psychological, will continue to have consequences for themselves, their
families, and our society long after Saddam Hussein is just a blip on our national
memory. By any objective measure, the war in Iraq was a disaster, and even worse,
a disaster we’d brought on ourselves, yet it continued to be sold to the American
people as a just and virtuous and necessary war, a war we could win, that in fact we
were winning even as the insurgency grew stronger and more aggressive.
How could a ridiculously low-tech arsenal of suicide vests, car bombs, and IEDs
defeat the most powerful military on earth?
This was our government’s position, and we accepted it. We swallowed it hook,
line, and sinker, and the proof was George W. Bush’s re-election as president-some
would say his first actual election-in November of 2004.
Cadets, we’ve seen this movie before, and not that long ago. That was the movie
known as Vietnam, and it’s recent enough history that its lessons should have been
fresh in our minds. Not just the disaster of the war itself, but all of the rhetoric
and dissembling that went into justifying the decision to go to war, and then the
nearly decades-long parade of whitewashed assessments as to the progress we were
making, the victory that would soon be ours.
Vietnam; then Afghanistan and Iraq; and now, perhaps, Syria?
This would be a good time to remember the words of the late I.F. Stone, one of
the finest investigative journalists in America during the middle years of the 20th
century: “All governments lie, and nothing they say should be believed.”
There’s no question that al Qaeda was and continues to be a sworn blood-enemy
of the United States. It attacked us by land in 1993, with its first bombing of the
World Trade Center. It attacked by land again in 1998, with the bombings of our
embassies in Kenya and Tanzania. It attacked us by sea in 2000, with the bombing
of the U.S.S. Cole in Yemen. And then, of course, by air in the attacks of September
11, 2001. I hope even the most confirmed pacifist would recognize
the need to respond with decisive force to this kind of sustained attack. But our
entirely sane instinct for self-preservation was transformed by our government
into something quite different and strange. To put it bluntly-because of 9-11, we
invaded Iraq, a country that had nothing to do with 9-11, and whose regime in fact
was a bitter enemy of al Qaeda.
Why? How did this happen? How did we let it happen, and why did we endorse
the war by re-electing the President in 2004? Are we stupid? As Norman Mailer
once said, “Stupidity is the American disease,” but I would argue it’s not that simple.
This country has done far too many fine and brilliant things to ascribe the disaster
of Iraq to plain stupidity. I would approach it from a different direction and argue
that our culture is stupid, and while that doesn’t necessarily make us stupid in the literal sense, it does make us numb. By “culture” I’m talking about the 24-7 force-
feed of movies, music, television, Internet, youtubes, youporns, cell phones, iPods,iPads, sports of all kinds at all hours, right-wing news, left-wing news, celebrity
news, texts, tweets, emails, and all the rest of it, and that’s even before we get into
the numbing effects of the huge array of pharmaceuticals available to us, legal or
otherwise.
Cadets, I think this avalanche of electronica, entertainment, and media needs a
name, so let me suggest that we call it the Fantasy Industrial Complex.
When you boil it down, it’s pretty clear that the Fantasy Industrial Complex is
mostly someone trying to sell us something-a product, a political agenda, a lifestyle,
an alleged means to a more beautiful version of ourselves. Or what may be even
worse, it’s selling us, our vital statistics in terms of purchasing power and preference,
so that we can be targeted by marketers with ever more finely calibrated accuracy.
Thanks to the Fantasy Industrial Complex, I think there’s a strong argument to
be made that we often don’t know what’s real anymore. To a significant extent, our
lives take place in the realm of fantasy, triviality, and materialism, and our senses
and mental capacity become numbed as a result.
Well, what’s wrong with being numb; with being comfortably numb, as the
song says. What’s wrong with being the functional equivalent of fat and happy,
of cruising along in the prolonged adolescence that seems to be the ideal human
condition as rendered by the Fantasy Industry? Nothing, maybe, until reality comes
along and slaps us in the face: the death of someone close to us, say, or serious illness,
or extreme emotional suffering-trouble in our marriage, trouble with children,
failed relationships, failure or frustration in our work, or a collective trauma such
as we experienced on 9-11, 2001. In other words, the hard stuff of life as it’s actually lived.

It’s not a question of if we’re going to get hit with a crisis, but when, and the
question then is whether we have the emotional and intellectual tools for dealing
with it capably enough that we have a chance of coming through more or less intact.
We’ve all heard the saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” In my
opinion, that has to be one of the most inane statements ever made about human
experience. It’s possible for people to be shattered beyond repair, and countries, too.
We survive, but we’re broken. We limp along in a reduced state. It happens all the
time.
9-11 was a crisis of the first order, both individually and collectively. It inflicted
on us a harsh and complex reality, harsh enough that for a brief a window of time
America was shocked out of its numbness. There were the beginnings of a serious
discussion about our history, our role in the world, and who we are as a country.
What kind of country we want to be. All this by way of trying to comprehend the
violence that was brought down on us in the attacks of 9-11.
Was it something in us?
Was it something in them?
And by the way, who were they, the “them” that attacked us? Every American
with a pulse knew about Osama bin Laden, but what about the rest of them, the
thousands of young men and presumably women who swore jihad against the
United States?
A few days after 9-11, I saw an SUV near my home in Dallas with the words
“Nuke Them All” soaped in huge letters along the side windows. I think we can all
understand and sympathize with that kind of raw outrage, but the “them” in that
equation, that’s the hard part. Determining exactly who they are and what they
want, what motivates them. “Know your enemy” Sun Tzu says over and over in The
Art of War. “If ignorant both of your enemy and yourself, you are certain to be in
peril.”
I think Susan Sontag made a lot of sense when she counseled in the week after
9-11 that “a few shreds of historical awareness might help us understand how we
got to this point.” For starters, we could have looked into the recent history of the
Middle East for some answers, and for clues as to a viable way of going forward. I’m
not talking about assigning blame, or embarking on an agenda of running down
the United States of America. Rather, I’m talking about trying to determine the
facts of the situation-what happened, and who acted, and why. Not the fantasy
version, the numbed-out and dumbed-down version, but the true version, or as
close to the truth as clear thinking and seeing can get us.

You, cadets, don’t have the luxury of living out the perpetual adolescence of the
numb and the dumb. At a relatively young age, much younger than most of your
fellow Americans, you’ve made the most profound kind of commitment. It’s most
definitely not a game, the work you’re about. It’s about as far from “virtual” as one
could imagine, and it runs you up against the most basic existential questions we
human beings face.
As a practical matter, being numb and dumb simply isn’t an option for soldiers in
combat, not if they plan on surviving. I would venture that any numbed-out soldier
operating in a combat zone isn’t long for this world.
The reality of the military has to be about as far from the world of the Fantasy
Industrial Complex as we can get, so it’s surely one of the great paradoxes of our
time that the Fantasy Industry has so thoroughly co-opted the military for its own
purposes. We saw the process beginning in the days immediately following 9-11. As
huge and awful as the attacks of 9-11 were, the Fantasy Industrial Complex showed
itself to be bigger, stronger, more enduring. The difficult and complicated reality
behind those attacks was quickly reduced to a simple-minded, easily digestible
narrative of us versus them, good versus evil, Christians versus infidels.
One clue to the unsettling complexity of the real situation might have been
found in the nationalities of the hijackers, the mysterious “them” that I was talking
about a few moments ago. Fifteen of the nineteen hijackers were from our staunch
ally Saudi Arabia. One of the leaders of the hijackers, Mohammed Atta, was from
that other staunch American ally, Egypt. Not a single hijacker was Iraqi or Afghan.
Not a single hijacker came from what would soon become known as the infamous
“Axis of Evil.” A few determined pulls on those loose threads might have gone a
long way toward unraveling the fantasy narrative, but rather than engaging in a
clear-eyed study of the situation, we got instead the vast machine of the Fantasy
Industrial Complex, whose full might was brought to bear in promoting this
dangerously simplified narrative known as the War on Terror.
Our government embarked on a concerted advertising campaign to build support
for war, and specifically, for an invasion of Iraq. It’s an old story now. For those who
care to read the history, the components of that relentless ad campaign are right out
there to see: the fear-mongering in the form of WMDs; the grand neoconservative
project of implanting democracy in the Middle East, and remaking the entire
region in our own image; and the goal of restoring American prestige by replacing
images of the burning Twin Towers with those of American forces triumphing
over Arab enemies. The campaign was persuasive enough that Congress and public
opinion quickly fell into line. We invaded Iraq in March of 2003, and by May 1st we were presented with the mother of all commercials, President Bush in a flight
suit on the deck of the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln, telling us against the backdrop
of the “Mission Accomplished” banner that major combat operations in Iraq had
come to a successful conclusion.
At this point, I think it’s worth examining an interview with the man who
conceived and stage-managed President Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” moment
on the Abraham Lincoln. That man was none other than Karl Rove, otherwise
known as “Bush’s Brain,” who sat down for an interview with the journalist Ron
Suskind that was subsequently published in the New York Times Sunday Magazine
in October, 2004. Rove explained in remarkably frank terms the Administration’s
approach to power: Those in the, quote, “reality-based community [journalists,
historians, old-fashioned policy wonks] . . . believe that solutions emerge from [the]
judicious study of discernible reality . . . But that’s not the way the world really
works anymore. [The United States is] an empire now, and when we act we create
our own reality.”
In Rove’s view, it doesn’t matter what the reality of a situation is when you can
remake it at will. “The judicious study of discernible reality”-in other words, the past five hundred years of Renaissance empiricism and Enlightenment principles-
go straight out the window, because we’re an empire now, and the world is whatever we want it to be.
But as we’ve seen, reality, discernible or not, is stronger than any of us. As the
reality of Iraq showed itself to be less than malleable to the Rovian concept of power
and empire, we saw the Fantasy Industrial Complex go into overdrive. Some of
the pronouncements and slogans that resulted were famous for a while, platitudes
and political swagger such as “Freedom is on the march,” “Bring it on,” and “We’re
kicking ass.” Words that had nothing to do with reality, words whose purpose was
to distort, to sell an agenda, to numb the audience-or to put it another way, the
language of advertising.
The American soldier was one of the most effective props in the Fantasy Industry’s
marketing arsenal. Support the Troops became the phrase we heard constantly, and
not just the government, but the entire private-sector Fantasy Industry got in on
it. War, and specifically, Supporting the Troops, became a great branding device.
We saw it in the entertainment industry, in professional sports, and in business
generally. If you wanted to generate positive associations for your product, you
made it clear how much you supported the troops.
The sum effect of all this was to take us farther and farther from the reality of the
war. We were allowed and even encouraged to dwell in the fantasy version of war, the infantile version. No photos of coffins at Dover Air Force Base. No torture, but
rather, “an alternative set of procedures.” Abu Ghraib, that was the work of “a few
bad apples.” Dead Iraqi civilians, the very people we were supposed to be liberating,
were “collateral damage.” The insurgents were a ragtag bunch of “dead-enders,” and
month after month we were assured that the insurgency was “on its last legs.”
The ceaseless refrain of “Support the Troops” made it all so much easier to accept,
as if to analyze the reasons and conduct of the war might imply less than total
support for the young men and women who were doing the fighting.
In the fantasy version, it’s easy to support the troops. What’s the personal cost to
us to say, “I support the troops”? To fly the flag, to thank soldiers when they cross
our paths, to pay for their meals and drinks, to give up our seat in first class. These
are all fine and good as expressions of appreciation, and entirely appropriate. The
troops absolutely deserve our support, and that was one of the many tragedies of
Vietnam, the abuse that so many soldiers endured when they returned home. But
let’s be real about what’s going on here. This is the easy part, the feel-good part,
wearing lapel flag pins, thanking the soldiers and buying them drinks, flying the
flag on Memorial Day. We can congratulate ourselves for being good and virtuous
Americans, for doing our civic duty. We can feel secure in the knowledge that we’re
patriots-in other words, that we love our country.
Okay, but what is love?
In my experience, real love, true love, involves pain, sacrifice, hardship, selflessness.
That’s adult love, when all the fantasies and illusions get burned away, and you’re
left with reality. That’s the kind of love you ultimately discover in marriage, if your
marriage is going to have any chance of lasting more than a couple of years. That
head-over-heels stuff, that hormone rush of infatuation and sexual buzz, that’s
great, but it’s not love. It’s not really love until it hurts.
By the same token, how genuine can our patriotism, our love of country, be when
the cost to us is so trivial?
In some ways, the war has never been more accessible to those of us at home. We
can find it in the news; we can access the most graphic, horrifying images online.
But I think that in a profound sense the war remains an abstraction unless and
until we have skin in the game, a vital personal stake. Maybe it takes love to make
war real. Maybe the reality of war isn’t really driven home unless we ourselves, or
someone who we love very much, becomes directly involved.
In that sense, Vietnam was front and center in the lives of the majority of
Americans. Every family with a draft-age son had a stake in the war. I remember my
older cousins and neighbors, and the friends of my oldest sister, all sweating out the draft lottery every year. We all knew someone who was serving, either a neighbor or
a family member, and we were forced to think about the war in a very real way, to
consider the reasons why it was being fought, and to look long and hard at the costs.
Contrast that with the wars of the past dozen years. Certainly the most striking
difference is the absence of a draft, which means that most of us have been excused
from thinking about the war in personal terms. Not only that, but no sacrifice
was asked of us in other ways. We were told to go shopping, to spend money, to
buy stuff. Not only were taxes not raised in order to fund the war effort, tax rates
were lowered. Contrast that with the top tax rate during World War Two, which
was-brace yourselves-ninety percent. That’s how you pay for a war. That’s how you
share the sacrifice. That’s how you make it real in the life of the country.
In the past dozen years, you never heard the first mention, not a breath, about
rationing. The heyday of the Hummer in Texas was during the first years of the Iraq
war; you couldn’t drive down a street in Dallas without seeing at least one of those
huge, heavy, gleaming vehicles trundling along, loaded up with chrome and steel.
Meanwhile, back at the war, soldiers were driving around in Humvees that lacked
appropriate armor, and the scarcity of effective body armor was a chronic problem
for our soldiers. And as we all know, these days the Veterans Administration is
seriously overwhelmed by the influx of veterans from the past dozen years of war.
So if we really want to support the troops, how about if we slap a tax on every
vehicle that weighs over a certain amount, or averages less than forty miles a gallon,
and direct that stream of tax revenue to the VA?
Support the troops.
What do you suppose the life expectancy is of a country that’s lost its grip on
reality? Whose national consciousness is based on delusion and fantasy? Whose
dominant mode of expression is the language of advertising and sloganeering?
For you, cadets, this isn’t an academic or theoretical proposition. The course
of your lives, and perhaps even whether you survive your twenties, depends on it.
You’re of a generation that’s come of age in a time of constant war, a time that’s
happened to coincide with the full flowering of the Fantasy Industrial Complex.
You live directly on the fault line between the two, and that strikes me as a
dangerous place to be. There are times when war is necessary, but in circumstances
where the justification is less than clear, when, in fact, there’s serious question as
to the necessity or wisdom of going to war, what then? How are you supposed to
conduct yourself? How do you keep your conscience and your soul and your honor
intact?

Given recent history, the odds are you’re going to find yourselves in that exact
situation. You may be required to lay your life on the line for reasons that you might
very well suspect are the product of fantasy and delusion. I call that not just a crisis,
but a tragedy. That’s how lives are ruined and souls are shattered. We all have some
idea of the kinds of things that are done in wars, the things that are hard to live
with afterwards. Experience shows that it’s hard enough to live with those things
when the war was just. And if it was less than justified, imagine how much harder.
Of course, the obvious answer, the default answer to this dilemma, is that you
follow orders, you do your duty no matter what. As Alfred Lord Tennyson writes
in “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” “Theirs is not to reason why/theirs is but to
fight and die.” It’s a snooze of a line, but there’s a lot of truth in it. Certainly it was
true for British soldiers of the Victorian era, conditioned as they were to hierarchy
and total devotion to the Queen.
But what about for you, young Americans? Your entire lives you’ve been taught
the virtues of democracy and self-determination. The integrity of the individual.
The right and imperative to question authority. It’s not an accident that this is so
ingrained in our culture. It started with the tradition of Protestant dissent that
came over with the Puritans, that wonderful tradition of radical independence and
rebellion against authority. All your life, the best examples have taught you that
democracy requires us to be thinking, questioning, analyzing citizens. That it’s
not simply our right, but our obligation, to hold those in authority responsible for
their actions, which is part and parcel of the notion of democracy-those in power
govern only with the consent of the governed.
So then what happens? You graduate from high school, you go to the Air Force
Academy, and all of a sudden you’re reduced to the status of a serf! Or worse than a
serf-you become a “doolie,” from the Greek doulos, meaning: slave.
To be part of the military in a democracy, I’ve got to believe that requires living with a good deal of internal tension and psychological stress. I have a theory-
probably not a very good theory, but nevertheless-that this tension might explain the American soldier’s genius for profanity. It’s a way of venting, giving expression
to the sheer weirdness of having to balance two ways of being, the democratic and
the authoritarian. I have to wonder if soldiers in authoritarian cultures as good as
our soldiers at cussing. Say, the soldiers of North Korea with their blind obedience
to the supreme leader, can they match our extraordinary eloquence? Maybe soldiers
of all cultures have this genius for profanity, but what I do know for sure is that
Americans have made it into an art form.

In any case, I think that psychological stress is real, and it may never be more
acute than when you’re told to put your life at risk for what you sense may be a
fantasy, a delusion. Alfred Lord Tennyson doesn’t cut it in America, not here, not
in this day and age. “Theirs is not to reason why . . .” No. You’re Americans. It’s in
your nature and your culture to ask why.
My sense is that one of the things the United States military excels at is training
its soldiers to compartmentalize. Focus on the mission, the task at hand. Break
it down into discrete parts and execute each one in turn. That may well get you
through the moment. You might even be able to get through an entire war that way,
but sooner or later, on some level, you’re going to find the why question coming
down on you. Sanity demands it. Human nature demands it, the American nature.
We need our actions, especially actions as fraught as those done in war, to have
meaning and purpose. If I’m going to die, I want my death to mean something.
If I’m going to give up my legs or arms or a chunk of my sanity, it needs to have
served a worthwhile purpose. But to ask young soldiers to sacrifice crucial parts of
themselves for what-delusions and fantasies?
I call that obscene. It’s morally obscene, and as a practical matter it can’t help but
corrupt the life of the country. You can’t ask your youth to sacrifice themselves over
and over for nothing without the country eventually rotting from cynicism and
disillusionment.
What does “literature” have to do with any of this? Does it have anything to do
with you, cadets, living as you are on that fault line between the ultimate reality of
war, and that other reality, the dream reality produced by the Fantasy Industrial
Complex?
Can literature make a country wiser, less prone to engaging in foolish wars?
Could it affect, dare I say it, the political life of the country?
I can’t speak for other writers, but when I wrote Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk
I wasn’t thinking that John McCain or Barack Obama would read it someday and
start making policy based on what they found there, or that Dick Cheney would
read it and suddenly realize, Oh my God, I was so wrong! Invading Iraq was a
terrible idea!
Cadets, I’d be out of my fucking mind if I thought that.
So I’ll ask again, what can literature do? Does it do anything, does it have a
social function? Or is it just ornament, decoration, something to entertain us in
our downtime?
First, let’s be clear about what “literature” is. These days, when somebody says
“literature,” a lot of us can’t help thinking of the English teachers who tortured us in high school with grammar fascism and terrible translations of “Beowulf.” Or
maybe we think of something rarified and dainty, something Oprah-ish about
innermost feelings or the power of healing. I find myself clenching up whenever the
word “literature” gets mentioned, because the modern connotations of the word
seem so far removed from life as it’s actually lived. So how about if by “literature”
we mean words that get down to the real stuff of life, the sweat and worry and
blood and guts and sex and pain and pleasure of it, the down-in-the-dirt human
tumble that we’re all going through at one time or another. So when we talk about
“literature,” or “literary” qualities, we’re not talking about fancy turns of phrase
or artifice or prettiness, but rather, meaning in the most profound sense. Writing
that corresponds to the facts, to lived experience, with all its layers of past and
present, motive and drift, conscious and sub-conscious. Writing that takes account
of all the confusion and ambiguity and contingency of life. Writing that’s true to
“discernible reality.”
So maybe that’s the value of writers, of “literary” writers-to preserve and protect
the language. To see things as they truly are, and to find the language that describes
those things as accurately and fully as possible, without sentimentality, or a political
agenda, or a wish to please the reader.
In his book The ABC of Reading, Ezra Pound emphasizes that writing has
meaning only to the extent that it corresponds to the thing being described.
He goes on to define literature as “language charged with meaning,” and great
literature, he says, is “language charged with meaning to the utmost degree.” In
other words, the rhetoric matches the reality. Reality is a thing to be apprehended
by clear seeing and clear language, which stands in exact opposition to Karl Rove’s
imperial notion of reality, in which we get to “make” our own reality, and to hell
with the facts, the messy truth of the situation.
A bit later in ABC of Reading Pound describes literature as “news that stays news,”
and as an example he cites Homer’s Odyssey, one of the founding documents of
Western literature, written some 2700 years ago.
Well, in essence, what’s the story of the Odyssey? It’s the story of soldiers trying
to find their way home. They’ve been at war for ten years, and then they spend the
next ten years trying to get home. Writing in the early 1920s, Pound noted that
Homer’s portrayal of Odysseus’s companions seems to indicate they were suffering
from what was called in the Great War, World War I, as shell shock. Of course, now
we know that same affliction as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and it’s very much
with us today. But writing some 2700 years ago, Homer’s vision was so acute, and his language so true to the situation, that he was diagnosing an effect of war that
was every bit as relevant in 3000 B.C. as it is now in 2013. News that stays news.
I read something a while back, a statistic to the effect that one out of every three
homeless people in the United States is a veteran. Well, that’s the story of Odysseus
and his companions, soldiers who are wandering, trying to get home. But these
homeless people among us, these veterans, they’re the ones who didn’t make it all
the way-they are, literally, homeless. So, the next time you’re in Denver or San
Francisco or New York and you see a bunch of homeless folks hanging out on the
sidewalk, think about Odysseus and his boys out there wandering.
News that stays news.
What about the causes of war, the reasons for going to war-does Homer have
anything to say about that? Let’s look at what triggered the Trojan War. Sexy
Helen, hot Helen, the super model of her day, runs off with Paris back to his
hometown of Troy. When her husband Menelaeus finds out, he goes to his brother
King Agamemnon and says, Come on, let’s get the army together, we have to invade
Troy. Helen ran off with that turd Paris and we need to get her back.
Can you imagine a lamer reason for starting a war?
Agamemnon should have laughed in his brother’s face. Dude, unh unh, no
way, that’s your problem. What you need is either a marriage counselor or a good
divorce lawyer, but there’s no way we’re going to war just because you couldn’t keep
your wife happy.
But of course, that’s not what he said. So the Greeks go to war for ten years to
get Helen back.
Talk about a bullshit war.
Odysseus and his companions spend ten years fighting that war, then ten more
years trying to get home when it’s over. I wonder if Homer is saying something
about bullshit wars, and whether that kind of war is harder for soldiers to come
back from. Wars based on folly, fantasy, vanity; wars of choice as opposed to
necessity. Maybe in the extreme difficulty they have in returning home, soldiers
are manifesting some psychological truth about those kinds of wars that’s deep in
their bones.
The Trojan War.
Vietnam.
Iraq and Afghanistan.
News that stays news.

Okay, so what’s been happening on the home front all these years, these twenty
years that Odysseus has been gone? Well, his wife Penelope’s been getting the hard
sell from a bunch of guys who want to marry her. 108 of them, to be exact. Even
worse, they’ve settled in right there at the house, so there they are 24-7, drinking
Odysseus’s wine, barbecuing his cows and sheep, abusing his servants, trying to
sleep with his wife. Meanwhile, the man of the house is off fighting the war, doing
his patriotic duty.
Homer goes to some pains to describe at least a few of these 108 men, and he
makes it clear that they’re the scions of the leading families of Ithaca. The leading
families of Ithaca. The wealthy, the powerful, the well-connected. Well, why aren’t
they off fighting the war? Or did they get a pass because their families are wealthy,
powerful, well-connected.
Sound familiar?
News that stays news.
Then when long-suffering, tough-as-nails Odysseus finally does make it home,
he’s changed so much that no one recognizes him, not even his wife. He’s a stranger
to them. How often have we heard that the past twelve years from wives and
parents and friends of returning soldiers: He’s a stranger. I feel like I don’t know
him anymore.
News that stays news.
Correction, somebody did recognize Odysseus-his dog. Argus was a puppy
when Odysseus left, and now he’s old and decrepit and can barely get around, but
he recognizes Odysseus when no one else does.
Good old Argus.
So this poem, this very, very long poem that Homer wrote some 2700 years
ago, is it just ornament, decoration? Something to read purely for pleasure and
entertainment? Sure, it can be read taken that way, but suppose we’re faced with
a real crisis in our life. Suppose we’re a young soldier trying to find his or her way
back from the war, and we’re struggling, and it may well be a matter of life and
death. Suppose we’re reading like our life depends on it, not in that numbed-out,
Fantasy Industry frame of mind, but with our full attention. Maybe then it’s not
so much like entertainment, but the best chance we have of understanding our
experience, of gaining a measure of peace in ourselves. A way to restore meaning
when it seems meaning has been lost.
Or, say, we’re a General, or a Senator, or even a President, faced with a geopolitical
crisis that may involve force of arms. If he or she is willing to read with full attention
and thoughtfulness-willing to read as if lives depend on it-maybe they’ll come to a fuller appreciation of risks and consequences, and of the potential for tragedy
that’s inherent in having great power.
Will reading Homer, or any work of literature, prevent unjust wars, unnecessary
wars? Maybe yes. Maybe no. Maybe sometimes yes-and maybe that’s the most we
can hope for. It may well be that the reality connect of Homer, and writers like him,
is the best shot we’re going to get. So I would urge us all to read. To keep reading.
Because we never know enough.

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Follow Up Conversations

From Kim- Thoughts on How to Be an Anti-Racist

As I told many of you on Tuesday (great discussion and I’m getting used to the Zoom meetings) you are the only people I know that have read the Kendi book. I just finished it and want to share some of my thoughts about it. Do not feel obligated to respond!
I liked the structure of the book but thought he was too wordy, and I think if he had provided more specific actions, policies, and supporting data the book would have been better. I really liked all the history he provided in the gender chapter, for example. I thought his position that racism won’t go away because of education or moral arguments was original (at least to me) and compelling. As you all talked about at the meeting, it is only through changing racist policies and institutions will racism be eradicated in our society. I really appreciated his argument that changing those policies BEFORE overwhelming social pressure to do so is the most effective way to lead and promotes progress more quickly. He says everyone who considers themselves to be antiracist must be actively engaged in supporting antiracist policies and groups either through action or, giving us oldsters a break, through financial support. He promotes doing away with all institutions that accept racism.
My takeaways are:
–    I will try to direct more of my charitable contributions towards organizations that promote antiracism. I think Community Support Shelters is an example of a local organization, but of course there are many.
–    I really think it means that supporting efforts to “defund the police” and similar racist institutions is vital. I know that phrase rubs people the wrong way and I’ve had quite a few arguments with friends about it but as Kendi argues efforts to “reform” the institution have failed for decades. It’s time to start over and completely reimagine public safety so that a large number of our residents are  not more afraid of the police than are helped by them. I recognize that there will always be a need for some kind of police presence but it has to be radically restructured and the huge amount of money we spend on policing and incarceration can surely be better spent.
Any comments welcome!

From Jessica:
Thanks for your thoughtful comments and observations on the book.  As always, I appreciate your perspective and ways we can take action to confront racism.
I learned a lot from Kendi and nearly underlined the whole book!  It was a bit dogmatic in places and I found the “textbook” quality to it repetitive but it didn’t detract from the book’s powerful message.

I think some of his strongest messages were the ones commonly mentioned like “color blindness”  It may be well-intentioned but it does nothing to counteract while privilege/supremacy.  It prevents white people from recognizing implicit biases and harms people of color.
Other ideas such as reparations and truth & reconciliation are not new, but his sense of urgency made me think that we need to act on it soon.  Especially now as we see so much violence in our cities and racial injustices unmasked.
The section on capitalism and racism was well written and thought provoking to me.

And finally Kendi’s equation that racism=metastatic cancer is a vivid reminder of the tough road ahead that we as a nation face.

From Deb:

Thank you, Kim, for taking the time to return to Kendi’s book + share your thoughts, complete with action items—& you, too, Jessica.  I’ve left the last couple meetings carrying on conversations: so much to consider + then how do the words & awareness serve action?  like –as you note—working to defund the police [& majorly restructure prison-options, + support kids]. –wishing for more time w/you all & these books & authors.

Despite the endless repetition in Kendi’s book, I found it not one to skim + was reminded how much I—we?—need repetition when trying to change a mind groove, rut, habit, & appreciated that Kendi seemed to be working on himself, too—not some enlightened higher-being speaking down but right in there with us, even when well-intended often going astray [as mothers, too, I was reminded in BELOVED].  That means alot. I remain impressed the way Kendi went back to his parents’ deliberate sometimes askew efforts, + his handling of Assimilation, complete w/illusions & the strength it takes to survive within a culture that thinks itself Supreme in its whiteness. Yes, some tiresome prose AND much achieved—w/ another remarkable book following, BELOVED, and am mulling that daily, too.

Speaking of the Bible & Beloved the character, as we were at the end of the last Zoom conversation: the book’s epigraphRomans 9:25—I will call them my people, which were not my people, and her beloved, which was not beloved.  –further complicates just who this figure is in the story for me.  + the wrongfully-killed will not stay deadà resurrection (Jesus & Beloved) notion also kindled more thoughts about our gender roles & how Morrison handles the subtleties and power of being a Mother—as a slave woman + as a woman [end-stop].  admit I’m conflicted on the “best-self” notion & individuation threads . . . plus impressed Morrison fully acknowledges the impossible place men are put in, too within set roles—expected to be tough etc.

which brings me back, too, to overvaluing words (while maintaining deep respect for great books!) & considering silence when it’s a chicken/fear-based position,or avoidant irresponsible, –racist, or a good move to defuse + return. Then there’s that return. .

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