Thanks to Deb for an excellent recap:

What a special evening: dinner reunion, astounding book, sweet welcome bit of catching up among us + discussionà eager for us ALL to gather, + still delighting in the book & night—& going to indulge in waxing wordy since I’ve missed after-din responses & we didn’t get to Zoom everyone in!  What a book & evening together!  We all seemed fully impressed with the way Swiv tells the 3-gen- story from her 9-yr old perspective –framed as a letter. or letterS [tho we really didn’t talk about structure much, other than commending the tight knit of details] —mainly a letter to her Dad who has split, Mom—Mooshie—who is freaking out with her geriatric pregnancy & Grandma with one foot in the grave, Gord inside readying for his first appallingly nude [ultrasound] photos!  And where’s Dad? That, Gram says, is the $64,000 question, in her aptly articulated way.   Adventures abound, timing is perfect w/jump cuts prevailing & as noted, knit nicely, too: the two cobalt candle holders Momo gives Gram 2 wks before Momo dies reappearing 200 pages later when nephew Lou has a candle for Gramma to take home to put in those holders from his Auntie. It’s empathetically cast, deadly serious, and LOL funny in a genius way (sure seems Toews’ due a MacArthur!) w/narrator Swiv’s insights uncanny, the language she hears & repeats eerily alive in Toew’s innovative way of conveying dialogue. 

       And besides appreciating the LETTER set-up, the 2 parts are fitting, too—moving from HOME to AWAY w/Swiv & Gram traveling to the USA, to see nephews Lou, who is struggling (in pain?), & Ken, w/Swiv along as caretaker—+ driver of Ken’s convertible [meeting those cool teen guys—ever husband/lover potential!]after Grandma finds her way to the Old Folks Home to see her not-yet-dead friends & does a little dance for them w/a high kick lays her flat, leaves her w/a missing tooth & lisping + broken arm—& ailing heart, maybe ODing on the T-3s she miscounts. Swiv such a care-taker, and Ma-mooshie searching, Toews drawing on her own life w/impressive timing, wisdom, humor, & empathy [!], Gram’s responses to the Lobby caretaker & hospital worker who must bill her for her sling truly respecting the needs of the vulnerable (not lesser but with more at risk)—an amazing feat, + letting the Rat guy who defends rats as just trying to survive also offers his wisdom: divorce breaks you down & you have to reinvent yourself (which Toews also seems to know)—all building to Gram’s “negotiated surrender” already forecast as being timed with Gord’s birth way back at the start [!] . . .   [stop, deb.]

—SO, this book’s genius achievement really gets complicated / extended w/Toew’s unusual (to say the least) “Personal History” essay “THE WAY SHE CLOSED THE DOOR, Facing the past on a frozen river in Winnipeg” in the NYer Feb 14 & 21 issue. Thanks to the reader/s who mentioned it [Laura, Margie ?!]. Talk about an incredible piece of writing—sentences that cover decades + cross continents & marriages, imagining a conversation that didn’t quite take off, back in Paris a decade + earlier, (waiting for a “boyfriend” who wants to be called a husband) a conversation over coffees to hold Toew’s History (not unlike the letter format of FIGHT NIGHT but even more wacky & enjambed).  Anyway, she leaves me marveling, as did dinner: Margie, your multi-faceted Persian feast especially unusual & tasty, setting completely conducive to relaxing & relishing being together unmasked, in person, + reflecting on this amazing book. Deep thanks to each of you for all you bring to our group (even when absent, a sense of you’s with us!).

love, deb — & not to forget Gram’s subversive advice [p20]: